Bailey's Blessing Day

Bailey looked absolutely beautiful. My mom made her blessing dress and we laid her on the baby blanket I got in Israel, made in Bethlehem. She was so soft and sweet as always, but it was as if she truly felt special in that dress (though her face suggests that she's just very curious about the camera).

Afterwards we had a get together at the house with our families who had come to celebrate her life as well. Since I've often spent Sundays outside the parameters of "keeping the Sabbath day holy" it's ironic that I was frustrated at just how un-ceremonial the day began to seem. I wanted to feel connected to everyone there and for it to truly be a day to ponder and discuss the potential that each life has. And because that didn't happen I felt a little disappointed, or maybe just kind of alone.

There are so many opportunities I want for Bailey and I guess I wanted the chance to show that better, or even more just to feel understood. Why do we so often say those things, but never talk about them specifically? Why do we practice religion, but rarely discuss why it does or should fulfill us or what parts of it do?

I am always craving more intimacy. I want so badly to understand others and be understood. I want all of my relationships to be ones where I am always growing closer and learning more about the other person. I hope I can be close to my children. I hope that they also find a kind of closeness with others that gives them an even stronger sense of identity, allowing them to find meaning in all of the things that they do.