Friday, October 30, 2009

In Memory of Let's Reborn

In its final moments, a memorial of Let's Reborn:

I've given this blog a passionate 3+ years and just as it lived, would like to have it go out strong. Otherwise I fear it may completely dwindle down to entries so seldom they are only entered out of guilt of neglect. While I haven't necessarily minded its slow evolution into more and more of a mom-blog, I've decided that the large amount of previous personal entries may outweigh my efforts to change the blog's nature and for now I would rather put it to rest.

Let's Reborn began on August 4, 2006 reluctantly. I've never been very successful at keeping a journal, but I wanted to have my say too when when I saw the opportunities and benefits of social feedback and sounding boards in the lives of others.

So my goal was for it to be a place for sharing my outlook on life, thoughts, philosophies, and yes, adventures, though I did want to avoid the trap of only reporting events in my life. I wanted it to be a place where I could be myself. But even that had to be constantly compromised, both for audience consideration and for the feelings of others. I don't think I succeeded at being considerate enough though and am sure that I hurt others. My intentions were not malicious but were to ignite more social awareness and to encourage people to think about what they want in life and what they're doing about it.
Also, it seems that I am constantly in need of serious psychological help.

I was raised a Mormon and I consider myself a Mormon though a "less active" one. I believe that many of my readers are LDS as well. Unfortunately the Mormon culture has been very prominent in shaping what is appropriate and / or inappropriate to discuss in public and private arenas. Specifically I've struggled with the fact that while we preach the necessity of opposition in all things, the social consequences of discussing negative experiences and the emotions that accompany them makes it unthinkable. My own drive for shared honesty about life and relationships combined with my social naivete have become too much for this blog. I have no desire to only discuss and share negative thoughts and feelings, but I have no desire to pretend that they don't exist and can't be addressed.

I recognize that it was a mistake to use my blog to share personal information that sometimes put others in a bad light. I wish I could inspire more honest conversations without hurting others. I sometimes wish I didn't crave connection and intimacy so much.

I'm including a quote from a book I thought was pretty lousy, but has made me think about what kind of person I am: "Maybe this inflammation of the spirit is a gift that can only be received by those whose prayers ask for a daily hunger than for bread."--Theo Grutter, Dancing with Mosquitoes

Lastly, I'd like to refer anyone seeking family updates to the blogs that survive mine:
My family outdoor adventures blog and my husband's blog.

Perhaps the end of Let's Reborn may give birth to a more family-update type of blog for the benefit and ease of sharing photos and stories with my loved ones who are far away. We shall see.


dan richards said...

It's been good reading your posts, Alene. I've appreciated the honesty of your writing and your desire to share the realities of life that a lot of people try to ignore. I personally think a craving for hunger is important, because it causes your search for meaning to continue. The most boring people I've ever met are those that believe they already have the bread, have it all figured out and don't need anything else.
Have a great blog hiatus and have a great time with your fam. -dan-

Kristin Lynne said...

I couldn't agree with you more, Alene. For those same reasons, I now hardley ever blog. I hate it, whereas before it was fun and thought-provoking. But people don't want that, I think, and it's too bad. I'll be your friend and we can talk about ANYTHING!!!! Anytime. :)

Tyler said...

A lot of people (including me) are going to miss your blog. I love the way you describe yourself and your thoughts. It's more clear than I could ever even describe my own thoughts to myself AND, you do bring up issues that people try not to talk about or avoid.

I'm still fortunate out of everyone that reads your blog because I still get to be with you every day.

I love you Alene.

H.A.M. Fam said...

I love your blog and will miss it. You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself and writing about your feelings.
I am sad that you feel you can't continue writing it. But I do understand why.
You are a beautiful person with a kind loving heart and great out look on life!! Maybe one day you can resuscitate "let's reborn" :)

Our Ohana said...

"I have no desire to only discuss and share negative thoughts and feelings, but I have no desire to pretend that they don't exist and can't be addressed." Did you ever check out ? Seriously, this is the exact reason so many mormon women are drawn to this site. It's a place to actually be able to talk about things and feel understood without being looked at like an apostate. I rarely comment anymore, but I get my fix reading every now and then. It really makes me realize how much we don't talk about as a religion, which I think is slowly changing for the good, but ever soooo slowly that it can be pretty frustrating.

Otherwise, I've loved your blog, Alene. You're awesome :)

Jeffrey Dean Root said...

I know what you mean when you talk about how hard it is to just talk about certain things. It's been a rough year. It's also hard to be honest when you know it's going to hurt someone else.

Amanda said...

I too will miss your blog. I let mine go and I never looked back. HAHA. I still don't understand what everyone is talking about that they feel like they can't talk or say certain things because they are afraid they will hurt someone. Especially being a Mormon mom, I don't feel like there is anything that holds me back. I'll say what I want. I'm really curious. Maybe there is something wrong with me. You're a good person and I hope you realize that no matter what I will always love you. I know we're not that close, but I want to be :)

Tonii said...

Sad to see it go Alene, I know I don't comment enough but I feel this end requires one. I hope at some point you decide to write what you intended this to be and if you do, I hope I get the opportunity to read the real Alene. All too often, blogs become mundane for the writer when others opinions and feelings become more of a focus than the writers own self.
If and when you write again, I would love an invitation to read.

Kayz said...

=( Sad, sad, sad day!! =( I LOVED getting on here to read your REAL thoughts. In fact, you were one of my favorites to read b/c of that very reason. I know what you mean, though, with regard to only happiness reported and censoring certain posts. I've had some random comments on mine that have made me question my reason for blogging. In the end, I guess, it sure makes you decide why we're blogging and who's out there who appreciates your real thoughts! Here's to REAL blogging!! =) You rocked it! =) Kali