The HB and I recently did our first groundings. Caiden may be too young for it, I'm not sure, but after a few days of really poor behavior at school, we made him stay in his room at night and only come out for dinner, no computer games, nothing (though he did have the toys in his room). It seemed appropriate, but he's so young too. I"m not sure if it helped though since he didn't seem too phased. He's such a great kid anyway.
I was grounded a ton, but grounding didn't do much because there wasn't much I was allowed to do in the first place, and I was always in trouble, regardless of my degree of adherence to rules. Here are some of the rules I had growing up. They are harsh, but the rules weren't even the hard part of it:
Jeans can only be worn to school once a week
A dress/skirt must be worn to school once a week
No name brand clothing
No solid black (black top with black pants)
No listening to any radio stations except for soft rock
No phone calls to boys
No talking on the phone except to make arrangements for meetings
No dating non-Mormons
No two-piece bathing suits
Shorts and skirts must reach your knees, tank tops or sleeveless shirts
No playing with friends on Sundays
No jumping on the trampoline on Sundays
No swimming on Sundays
No cussing
No funky hair colors or cuts
No tight clothing
No big earrings
No smoking/drinking, etc.
No tv shows with innuendos or opposite sexes living together (why i've never seen 'friends' or most tv shows on in the 80's and 90's)
No mtv ( we didn't have cable anyway)
No spending time with non-mormons, male or female friends not of the faith
No grade lower than a B and anything less than an A also incurred lectures
unspecified, but frowned upon (might as well be a rule):
Too much make-up or none at all
Wearing a piece of black clothing too often
Receiving phone calls from boys (this could result in huge trouble)
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7 comments:
hey i could even add a few to that list
wow. all i knew is that you weren't allowed to wear black and no strange haircuts but i didn't know that there was a hand book.
I LIKE YOU FOR WHO ARE!!! YOU ROCK!! You seriously are one of my Favorite People Alene!!! Your my mentor!! No Joke!!
-little sis lana
If you couldn't be friends with non members, how could you ever be a missionary? I think I'm going to make it a rule for my kids to hang out with only non members. Sheesh!
Sometimes as parents we don't trust ourselves and the way we teach our children. I guess if John would have only dated members of the church you wouldn't be married to Ty! Think about it. John baptised me 3 weeks after we were married! It's been a great ride ever since. Always remember "I teach them correct principles and allow them to govern themselves"(Joseph Smith) Of course I will always keep teaching!!!! We love you!!
Oh yea! I tried grounding my children once, but I had so many I couldn't remember who was supposed to be grounded or not!!!!! Happy Day!!!
As a parent, I think, the hardest thing to do is let our children make their own choices and live with the consequences to their actions. (That is, after all, "the Plan"). When to create and enforce a rule and when to let your child live and experience things on their own and discover where their own morals lie is a tough decision that every parent has to make. Over all, however, I think that a parent needs to let their kids know that they are there to help them be happy. That they will be there to talk to. About ANYTHING. A child needs to find comfort in the presence of their parents rather than the feeling of constantly being judged. A parent needs to let their child know, by example, that the world is an amazing place, with incredible people, whether they believe the same thing you do or not. A parent needs to show a family the necessity of exploring the world both physically and emotionally to learn how to be a better person. Pres. Faust gave an incredible talk 2 conferences ago about how amazing and saintly the Amish people are. After a great chat with my dad, I realized that the biggest difference between the Amish and members of the church, is that they have so many rules that it has pushed them into a monastic lifestyle in fear of the world. They are unable to share with others their example, their good spirit, and their teachings. We (members of the church) are supposed to take what we believe into the world, add to it, and share it with everyone. (not just those that are members, that don't cuss, have big earrings and funky haircuts). My parents are absolutely 2 of my best friends and I can only hope to be the same to my kids while at the same time teaching them good principles.
whew! thanks for the vent Alene!
I can add so many to that list....newer, eviler ones. Shudder. And I know what you mean about the phone calls from boys--sheesh!
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