Conor Oberst and the mystic emotional basketcase.

I went to see Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band with the HB on Saturday. I was really looking forward to it having seen him in 2006 when he was touring as "Bright Eyes". It was an incredible show then, and I knew it would be incredible again. I was long overdue for a good concert too and the summer outdoor shows can be especially moving.



I've liked his music from the very start, for how expressive and raw and un-manufactured it is. And I'm particularly liking this new turn towards a more folk-rock sound that retains his original intensity. I don't believe intensity should be sacrificed for anything, probably it should, but I've never found reason for it.



I am still reeling from the emotions of the past several weeks. And the show really got me thinking. I've discovered what my problem is, you may laugh, but bear with me. I feel like I have all the passion of an artist, but none of the talent. Perhaps if I were a musician, a painter, a writer, or an actress people would value my ability to articulate what I'm feeling, but because I have no such talent my expressiveness is deemed inappropriate.

That may sound a bit defensive, but in truth I never meant to hurt anyone. I have made very careful deliberations about what needed to be censored on this blog while still allowing it to represent who I am and the way I experience life. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I DO wish that personal pain was something people were more willing to discuss. I begin to feel a bit robot-ish when I'm not able to express myself, and I have a totally irrational fear that I will stop feeling alive when I allow myself to stop feeling things. I found it really refreshing to discuss true emotions when I participated in group therapy for a short while when I was at BYU. I just wish there was more honesty about the way marriage is and the way religion is and just more honesty about the way people are and the way they feel things.

Thank God there are rock concerts for letting some of that stuff out. Now if only I were a rock star.