the Spell of the Desert

Maybe it's because I'm reading "the Spell of the Sensuous" right now, or because I have a baby inside of me, that I feel even more in touch with the universe and therefore, with myself. It reminds me of reading Geertz, makes me feel more alive, and brings me back to that place where I can evaluate better how I see things. It seems like lately we hear a lot about our impact on nature, but there is still a lack of discussion about nature's impact on us. But having once lived outside of the ordinary, I don't believe you can ever return to life as it was before and be the same. So spending a weekend in the desert was just what I needed to feel rejuvenated and like I"m still myself even when I'm living a pretty ordinary life.

The great thing about this trip was that we hiked a ton! The thing is it feels so good to me to be exhausted, to deserve that warm campfire meal and to crash when I lay down. We estimated our hiking to be about 6 miles on both Friday and Saturday. It wasn't much more than what I usually get in at the gym in the morning, but of course all the climbing over rocks and elevation changes made it feel like quite the workout (not during, but afterwards), but I felt so strong afterwards from doing it, tired, but empowered. And being outside makes all the difference to me, makes me feel so much healthier.

Check out the HB's trip report here. I'm glad we were able to try some new things in the area too, there's nothing like having the whole canyon to yourselves!

Saturday night in the San Rafael Swell I dreamt that I killed a mountain lion. Only a few days earlier in the week last week I'd dreamt that I killed a lion. Pregnancy may just up the ante of crazy dreams, but they're not uncommon for me, especially that time of year that I start spending more time outside. I remember the summer I did my dig down by Escalante, each morning we'd tell our dreams around the water bucket, brushing our teeth. I welcome crazy dreams. In the mountain lion one, it was as if the mountain lion had a jaw like an alligators--only one side can shut so I was straddling the lion, holding the jaw open so it couldn't bite me and finally just cracked it back so far that it killed the animal. I'm not into killing animals or anything so I thought it was pretty interesting. Some info below about what that could mean, and in addition, I happen to be a Leo (born on the last day of that sign) and my baby girl will be one too!

LION/LIONESS - The power of our physical strength, of our temper, of our emotions or sexuality; love that has become anger through jealousy or pain; leadership; ones father or fatherhood, or mother if it is a lioness; an image of the father/mother God; leadership; watchfulness or guardianship; self assertion or boasting because of the power of the lions roar. The story of Androcles and the lion shows how the pain felt by our 'animal' life process, if tended by the conscious personality, brings a loving relationship between conscious and unconscious.

As an astrological sign, the lion is the sign of Leo, a 'Fixed' 'Fire' sign. In the dream of a person born with the sun in Leo, the lion may represent their basic character. It is said to be the heart of the Zodiac. In it all the activities of Aries have been concentrated and given purpose, permanence, passion and a certain nobility. It is the Royal Sign denoting Love, the Ruler of Life. Subjects of this sign are said to be proudly 'faithful' and scorn what is weak, small-minded, or mean. It is the sign of the Sun - the physical and also the Divine Sun. In terms of human evolution the sign of Leo represents rulership of the animal kingdom, to become a dominant creature, expressing the best of the instinctive and natural within human nature. Thus in The Witch and The Wardrobe, the greatest strength and unifying influence is the lion. But there is a step beyond this into independent awareness where one recognises oneself not only as the powerful and creative universal animal life, but as an individual human being as well.