Trip Report: Grand Staircase Escalante

Like Isak Dinesen, I believe that places leave an imprint on people. I lived outside of Escalante in a tent for 2 months during my archaeology field school 6 years ago. Revisiting the place was like visiting a piece of me. It’s odd how at home you can feel in so many places other than your house.

I remembered where I played hackey-sack on top of the slickrock in our old campsite and where my tent was, and where we washed and labeled artifacts, where we studied, where we shared our dreams from the night before around the water, brushing our teeth. When we saw the pygmy rattlesnakes in the slot canyon I remembered how rattlesnakes waited each morning underneath the tarp covering the pithouse we were excavating. Usually Don would get a shovel and scoop one up at a time, throwing it over the cliff edge, only to see it there again the next morning. Sometimes others would do it. When we hiked to Calf Creek Falls I remembered how the weekend April and Bill and my brother Dave came to visit me we all raced to make it to the falls before dark and how having forgotten a flashlight we hiked back by the light of a cigarette lighter.

This time around we stayed at the State Park campground, where I used to take my only running shower of the week--$2 for eight minutes. Mid-week showers were taken every-other day by hanging your bag of water, letting some out to get wet, plugging it up, soap & shampoo, and then rinsing off. This helped a little with the buildup of dirt and sweat.

I was so happy to finally share this part of me with the HB, and even happier that he thought it was a beautiful place too. There’s such a wide variety of landscape in the area. In the book The Little Prince, the character says: “what makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.” It’s amazing the things hidden in the Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument. From the road you would never know there were tiny slot canyons to squeeze and wind your way through; you’d never know there was a beautiful waterfall deep in the canyon. I love being able to experience these things, to touch the canyon walls, to feel a part of the earth.

My Retirement Home

As seen in Teasdale, Utah.

Battlecreek

On Mother’s day we went for a little hike up Battlecreek Canyon. There’s a waterfall less than a mile back and the trail keeps going for miles if you just feel like hiking. The HB was trying out his new GPS and kept trading it back and forth with Caiden who wanted to give us the readings. Caiden was also trying out his new hiking shoes/sandals that are Airwalk rip-offs of the Keens the HB and I have. He wanted to get into the waterfall, and I think they did their best thought it doesn’t look it—Tyler swears that his back was getting soaked. Then we went a little further up the trail to climb on some rocks and put our feet in some pools. Caiden and I tried to get a drink. It was a great little escape.

windshield problem

I got this nasty hit on I-80 last night, just at the mouth of Parley's canyon. I didn't even see anything coming and just heard this loud smack and the glass broke and it scared me to death.

some rich tomb

News sources today had the headline that King Herod’s Tomb was found outside of Jerusalem. That’s what the headline says, but if you read the article you find out that they aren’t sure if it’s really King Herod’s tomb. They haven’t found any inscription or any bones even to at least date the sarcophagus. All they know is it’s a very ornate sarcophagus with decorative carvings in the limestone, indicative of a wealthy, perhaps, very important person. Couldn’t it be anyone then? Why do they want to prove that it was Herod’s tomb?

The audacity of news sources to post an uncertain fact as its headline really disturbs me. We all know headlines are supposed to be dramatic and grab your attention, but to state something as a fact when it is still unclear seems wrong to me.

Archaeology is a fascinating subject, but one that’s also tainted by numerous motives. Biblical archaeology can often be the most controversial because archaeologists often find what they’re looking for. Take Jericho for example. In the Bible it says that the walls surrounding the city eventually fell due to the efforts of Joshua and the Israelites. Archaeologists aiming to prove the Bible correct, will undoubtedly find evidence of ancient walls in the sediment surrounding the city. Archaeologists who do not believe in the Bible as a true record of events, may not find any evidence of walls, perhaps only a layer of sediment that’s distinctly different and cannot be said to be a wall or not.

Heinrich Schliemann, who claimed to have found the legendary city of Troy, made the claim the moment his digging turned up some ancient jewelry. He’d been looking for Troy forever and at the first sign of jewelry, declared that he’d found the “jewels of Helen,” placing them on his wife. In his excitement, he’d dug through most of the classic city and onto an earlier age. But he’d been looking for Troy and so he was blind to any other possibilities.

I fear a society that only finds what it’s looking for. There’s nothing wrong with looking for the good in people and in finding that, or in looking for the good in a situation and finding that, but what happens when we close our mind to other ways of thinking? Some people can’t get past the premise of a certain book or movie because it could disturb them. What’s wrong with being disturbed? Shouldn’t we be looking for our personal understanding of things rather than one that’s handed to us? I wouldn’t force anyone to do anything they don’t feel comfortable with, but I would encourage people to find out if what they fear could actually be something enlightening, or inspiring instead? And when we think we’ve found the truth, hopefully it’s more true than the others that we know, instead of being the only one we’ve ever considered.

I hope it does turn out to be Herod’s tomb. Knowing what you want gets you somewhere a lot faster than not knowing what you want or what you’re looking for. Just be wary of clinging to the first thing you uncover.

where have all the flowers gone?

My mom used to sing that song “Where have all the flowers gone?” The lyrics are so beautiful and so sad. About how all the flowers end up by the graves of fallen soldiers. Now it seems they may disappear altogether.

Lately I’ve been reading up a lot on the disappearance of bees. The U.S. and much of Europe have both seen an almost 50% reduction in the number of bees and just today Thailand reported a 75% reduction.

There are numerous theories as to what is causing this. The bees are leaving the hive and never returning. Some say it’s due to pesticides, some say it’s due to interference in their navigation system that comes from cell phone frequencies. Whatever it is, it’s scary because bees are responsible for 1 in every 3 bites of food we take.

Albert Einstein once wrote that “If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would have only four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.”

We spend so much time talking about global warming that it’s shocking to me how underrated this problem is in the media and how unaware most of us are. Some people talk about being prepared for Armageddon when they watch news of natural disasters taking place around the globe, and that is reason enough to worry, but it’s something I’ve not gotten too worked up about. I just keep thinking about this bee thing, because it seems to be sneaking up on us, not many people are noticing it, and because it seems kind of unbelievable.

One journalist, writing about it said: “Instead of thinking of ourselves as consumers and competitive free agents, we need to start thinking of ourselves as passengers on a boat that is sinking...”--Dave Lindorff, of the Philadelphia Inquirer

I want to get on the party boat.

twinkie sushi

Maybe now the HB will eat sushi with me!

It's so cute. It's sort of inspiring how Twinkie's can still come up with great marketing ideas.

Vonnegut foot connection

Kurt Vonnegut died this week. I felt a sort of connection with him after learning about how the aliens in his novel "Cat's Cradle" mingled their souls together. They did so by pressing the bottoms of their feet together. It may sound odd, but I think that's really intimate. My twin sister and I used to soak our feet in out bathroom sink together all the time. Later, sometimes we would do it after dances, or after being out in the cold, or just to relax and talk before bed. As we got older and our feet got bigger they filled the sink so we had to rotate whose feet were on top like the sandwich game you play with your hands. Want to mingle your soul with someone else's, or open your hearts to each other? Soak your feet in a small sink together.

On the HB's 30th birthday

30 things I love about him:

1.he gets excited about trying a new rootbeer
2.when telling a story, he includes all the autobiographical details of everyone in the story
3.he buys the same pair of Adidas every time his shoes get worn out
4.I can beat him at air hockey
5.I can’t always beat him at speed anymore
6.he likes to take pictures and appreciates their sentimental value
7.sometimes he brushes his teeth for six or seven minutes
8.he has beautiful blue eyes
9.the way he plays with little animals and with babies
10.he makes me laugh every time he quotes “the big lebowski”
11.he went to my yoga class with me
12.he taught me to love football
13.he gets excited about a new tool
14.he lets me sleep in when I can
15.he is over prepared for every camping trip we take
16.he hiked all the way to sundial peak with me having no idea how long it would take
17.he tells me he loves me and that I’m hot
18.he gets dirty and fixes things
19.he makes me laugh when he tries to speak in Japanese (buta-chan, buta-chan)
20.he sings AC/DC like it should be sung—unintelligible, but imitating the voice well
21.he’s gone to concerts with me when he didn’t know the band at all
22.he introduced me to the Eagles of Death Metal and admitted the lead singer was hot because he was so flirtatious
23.family is very important to him
24.he made that army movie of Caiden
25.he is hilarious in that 80’s music video he made with his brothers
26.he practices baseball with Caiden
27.he fake laughs when I tickle him
28.he keeps a blanket in his truck for me
29.he lets me tease him
30.he asked me out

ant

Caiden proudly presented me with this Saturday morning when I came outside.

tough T

I’m thinking of getting the above tee for those late-night walks I like. Formerly, I was given a small can of mace to carry with me from the HB. After hearing about those walks and grocery-store runs I used to make at all hours from my last house, he’s since become more anxious about the ones I take now. We rode our bikes past my old house last night. Of all the places I’ve lived, I miss that place the most. I think I felt invincible when I lived there, in all respects—it was a time when I felt like I could do anything and be anyone I wanted to, nothing inhibiting me. No need for mace or tough tees then.

Actually I just thought it was creative and cool. It was recommended on the website: www.iliketotallyloveit.com

Peekay's chicken

Yesterday I brought in my plastic and furry peeping Easter chic into my office. This morning he was hanging from the fire sprinkler. Apparently, after I left yesterday, one of the women sitting next to be left the chic on the chair of our office Scrooge with a note saying “I think you’re just peepin’ awesome!” I thought this was pretty ingenious, because I’m sure he laughed, but didn’t want us to know. So his response this morning was to hang the chic before we arrived in the office--all in good fun though.

Since my job was sort of invented for me, I kind of lucked out to sit in the graphics department. It’s away from the execs in the other building and on a different floor than most of the other marketing and brand managers. Some like to call it “the music lounge.” So we do this sort of thing. We also talk about politics, religion, culture, dinosaurs, progression, music, and naked stories. But I had to tell them about Peekay because even though I wasn’t devastated by the hanging of my Easter chic, my story about Peekay did make Joe hold the chic and pet it for a minute, which was really amusing.

Peekay was in the book to movie “the power of one.” He’s an English orphan in a South African private school. He has a pet chicken that is the source of his only comfort and solace. Peekay is always being beat up by some bullies in the school but one day they do the unthinkable—they hang his pet chicken. It’s the saddest movie moment that exists, bypassing any death scene I’ve ever watched. It’s an incredible story though about a boy who overcomes the odds, never judges others despite being treated so poorly, and does his best to do his share of changing the world.

do you want me to eat the devil?

There is always something that makes each trip unique, even if it's to a place you've been before. This time I was happy to be there sharing them with the HB and I knew the hikes were ones that Caiden and his cousins would enjoy. Ty bought a camping oven sort of last minute, it looks like a laptop, skinny and silver, but opens up to reveal a small oven that can be heated on top of a little stove. About the time we were returning to camp from Goblin Valley I started begrudging the fact that he'd thought to buy an oven, but not a rhubarb pie. Now we know what we have to try next time.

So, I won't say much more about the trip, but I have to note 2 memorable quotes of Caiden's. Tyler told him to do something that he didn't want to, I can't remember if it was to just to come down and get going with us, or what, but Caiden kind of argued, and then responded, as if he'd thought up a good one: "And actually, you shouldn't be that mean."

Later on, the second morning, Tyler had made oatmeal for us all for breakfast like he had the first morning. Caiden didn't want to eat his, and Tyler wouldn't let him have any red vines until he had. Caiden, trying to think of the worse possible, and most convincing argument, said: "Do you want me to eat the devil?" He really didn't want to finish his oatmeal.

It was awesome. Tyler did a ton for this trip, making lots of grocery runs during the week and packing us all up on Friday and having everyone ready to go when I met them. I loved the feeling of working together with him when we both helped the kids climb up something or get past something they weren't sure they could. And, as much as I love to hike around on my own, I also love it when he helps me too, or just kind of looks our for me.

the most honest man I've ever known

When I was a senior in college I went to group therapy. All of us were learning to share with our group, but one member was the most honest, the most forthcoming, the most eager to improve. He wanted so badly to be rid of his pain, to understand it, and difficult as it was, to share it, to put it into words.

A homosexual at BYU, he had his share of challenges. And faced with explanations in the media, and religious views, as well as social pressures at BYU, he must have been totally overwhelmed. He must have felt that he had to have a way to explain it to himself. Sometimes he did, he would give different situations from his past that he believed contributed to being a homosexual. His father never played sports with him and he longed for that. He was kind of a preppy boy, not athletic, but he still longed for that closeness with his father.

A small thing he said one day revealed to me his true character—that he was the most honest person I’d ever known. Honest to the point of his own shame and pain, but so earnest that he was willing to dig in repeatedly. The group was sort of monitored by 2 professional psychologists. They attended the meetings, and sort of helped steer them, although they gave little direction and preferred to let us manage the flow. One day halfway through the meeting when my friend was sharing some of his pain about his situation, he said that it made him nervous when one of the therapists sat by him in the circle. Because the therapist was a well-dressed man, attractive, and classy. I couldn’t believe that he would reveal this, even while the therapist was sitting right next to him. But he was so intent on overcoming his feelings of shame, that he would test what he could talk about all of the time. He then expressed that he hoped it didn’t make the therapist uncomfortable, but that he had to say that it made him nervous, even though he wasn’t attracted to him, he recognized the nervousness in himself because he might be attracted to that type of man.

He was the one member who made me feel completely helpless. I couldn’t relate, I could empathize with his pain from growing up, and with the plight of social attitudes, etc. but that was all I could offer. I wanted to love him, and yet, I feared that that reaction was sort of biased, sort of heterosexually rooted, and that I was indirectly, subconsciously judging him, imposing my way of life and love onto another person’s without wanting to. Like maybe I didn’t understand him at all if my reaction was still to want to love him my way.

I think about him all the time, he reminds me how important it is to constantly seek to move to a higher level of connection and communication with others—and also to live, to do that through living true to yourself—as true as one can be to oneself.

Mango perfume oil

Last night, while packing for our camping trip this weekend, I found my mango perfume oil. It was in a side pocket of Tyler’s big army duffle bag. Silly as it sounds to bring perfume camping, I like bringing the oil because it lasts longer and seems more natural. I’d been looking for it and thought it was in my camping bag, forgetting that sometimes we all pack our stuff into Tyler’s bag. I went to bed with the perfume on and could smell it this morning. I’m so happy to have found it, not that I don’t have others, but it just made me happy.

Where is the line?

Can she still call for your help?
Car trouble? Plumbing problems?
Can you still be a nice guy if you don’t help her?
Can I still be your number one if you do?
Can I feel like you are mine only if you are still the one she goes to?
How can I not feel like a second wife, a second-rate wife?
Why can I not feel like you want to protect me and take care of me, but she can expect that of you?

Will there ever be a line where her personal relationship with you ends?
When I’ll stop seeing her name and yours on the mail?
When neighbors will stop remembering it as yours and her house?
Where fellow church-goers will know you and me and not you and her?
When will I be the one your friends and family know you to be with more?
Will they remember you with me more?
When can I feel like you will take care of me?

baby bears

Today I went to see the baby bears they had at Cabelas. They're from Yellowstone's bear world and are soooo adorable. Just two months old, they don't have any teeth yet. I've been lucky to see a lot of bears, growing up in Montana our family took many trips to Yellowstone and Glacier National Park. Last May we saw some grizzlies from our car when we were in Glacier. It was Ty and Caiden's first time there and they lucked out seeing those grizzlies. We even bought some bear spray for our hikes because we went early in the season when the bears are just coming out of hibernation and are hungry.

These babies were the cutest ever though and when I heard that you could hold them, I couldn't resist.

Uninhibited roots

Today I toured the manufacturing site and laboratory for my new job. They make all of the supplements, extracts, etc. there. One of the botanists was explaining to us how they tested samples of the raw material to be sure they'd received the correct material and that it was unadulterated.

He talked about how herbs that are made from the root of the herb are stronger when taken only from the root. He said he can tell if the raw material he received was cut higher up and therefore has more chlorophyll compared to his standard for the herb. This led me to wonder if he can tell whether insects have impacted the plants, and how much, and if certain insects, or certain degrees of impact made the herb unusable for our purposes. To answer me, he explained that, as part of the natural environment, the impact of insects didn't matter much. This didn't surprise me (biology 101), but interestingly enough, he said that some herbs grown in controlled environments failed due to the lack of insects and climate challenges. It is the insects, the droughts, the floods, etc. that give herbs the elements that we're looking for and that makes them more potent. So as long as the root is cut right, it's best to be grown in an uninhibited environment.

It sounded as if the climate challenges and insects built up the plants defenses--gave them character. Doesn't it go to show then, that challenges make us more potent, give us character? I'd like to think that it's best to grow uninhibited so that we can reach our potential, even if that means facing challenges.

Amygdala dreams

The HB and I are learning all about our amygdalas in our class together. It's the lower part of your brain that releases the fight or flight impulse when you feel threatened. We're supposed to stop using that part and move up into our higher brains, but it seems that I just don't have one. Is this possible? Maybe my twin robbed me of mine when were in the womb. (give it up April). I'm sure I have one, it's just so hard to use it. I love our class and I'm glad to know that we're trying to make things better for us, but after each session I feel a little crumbled too, because it's so hard to make those changes.

So I think it's kind of funny that my dream last night was just one fight/flight incident after another, though it didn't start out that way. (Am I supposed to be practicing in my dreams?--that would be cool if I could get good at using my higher brain in my dreams).

First I was at Ty's parents house and I was with Alana and Krystal and I was trying to ask Alana about her recent trip to Hollywood. And then the conversation moved into the bathroom (not weird if you're a girl because we all keep talking as we get ready, do our hair, etc.) Krystal was wearing this old-school underwear with like a long skirt and a corset or something and she got in the bathtub with it on. I get the impression we're all talking.

Then I realized I had to take something to my parents house so I run over there (as if) and drop it off to my mom. My sister-in-law Jen is there and we talk. Then I realize I'll now have to walk all the way back to my house because I didn't drive there and it's a long ways, and I want to get there fast because I know Tyler has to be to work by 8:30.

So I'm running and I run by all these little shops (like on Broadway) and then turn to go south and it's some dark alley and some guy starts running after me and grabs me. By now I'm in some kind of field, the alley just behind me. I'm screaming and there are some people coming into the field from the alley, but I'm scared because it's a couple women and I'm afraid he won't be scared enough to let me go. I elbow him in the stomach and then hit him a few times and he falls unconscious. So then I'm kind of lost because it looks like I"m on a mountaintop and I tell another girl that I have to get home as fast as I can and I know I'm kind of close, but not sure. She brings me to the edge of the mountain and shows me where the exit is for 100 south (there isn't one). Then I know so I start down the mountain. It's steep, but nothing I can't do and I'm just getting behind big rocks my whole way down. But then I'm behind a big rock and I hear a noise on the other side and a huge grizzly bear comes around and sees me and I'm scared to death.

Then I heard Tyler's footsteps and realized it was all a dream. I read once that you always have bad dreams when you're stressed out because it helps relieve some of the stress. But I don't feel that relieved afterwards. I've been really tired lately and my head keeps aching. I'm a little nervous about my new job too--excited, but a little nervous.

Call of Booty

I renamed one of Caiden's video games. Lately, his habit is to call the games by their full name. For example, the game previously referred to as Ghost Recon, is actually Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter. So now, instead of saying he's going to play Star Wars, he's going to play "Star Wars Battlefront." One of his games is a military game called Call of Duty: Finest Hour. I couldn't help, but ask him the other day if he was going to go play "call of booty." Then I couldn't keep from laughing to myself that the full name would be: "call of booty: finest hour." It's my new favorite game.

I love how he makes me laugh. One of the best things about being a mom is finding little soldiers, pennies, rocks, and even flarp in the washer when I'm unloading it.

Last summer was another classic Caiden moment. Caiden and I went for a bike ride to get a slurpee for Caiden and one for Tyler who was working in the yard. He'd been working in the yard most of the day and it was very hot outside. We are going to surprise him with the slurpee. As we pull into the driveway we discussed how to surprise him. Caiden would go ahead while I stay back behind the car with the slurpee so Tyler can’t see it, then Caiden will tell him to shut his eyes. What happened though when we did it was this: Caiden goes ahead and tells Tyler to close his eyes. Then Caiden yells to me from the back yard to wait for him; he says: “Alene, don’t come out with the slurpees yet!” It was so funny.